When loneliness becomes your only friend…

I am wearing my heart on my sleeve when I write this… but thought I’d share my thoughts and feelings just in case someone else is going through this too…

My days recently have been lonely and filled with feelings of being unwanted and unloved! Such a heart breaking place to be.

I still long so much for a friend with whom I can chat and laugh and just be me! Someone I can turn to when the going gets tough and who knows that she can do the same with me! The friend I thought I had here has changed and become distant. I no longer feel I can share a friendship with her! I guess that is what happens with people. They change and give up on you. It’s hard! It’s even harder when you are a Christian and you live in a Christian community. Expectations are higher I think! You watch people laugh and chat and have fun and all you can feel is left out and unwanted! No one calls you to join them in conversation nor do they join you if you are sitting alone! Even if you are a part of a group, they are all so busy with each other that their backs are turned to you or they don’t even make eye contact with you like they aren’t talking to you and you can only feel INVISIBLE.

Through times like these my constant strength and reminder of my worth has come from God and His Word. I use these times of being alone to talk to Him and pour out my heart to Him. If anyone has been through what I am going through, it is Him. So He understands. It’s the only way that I get through every day…

I still miss having a friend though… just that one friend!

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2 thoughts on “When loneliness becomes your only friend…

  1. I’m sorry to hear that you are at that phase. That’s one of the toughest to come out from. I’ve been through such phase few times when I’ve longed that one friend. It took me several heartbreaks to realize that it’s not right to put so much pressure and expectation on just one person. It gets tough for them too. So with time, I’ve learned to appreciate people around me. I still have very few friends, but I share my laughs and silly jokes (sometimes black humor 😉 ) with one friend, I complain about men to another, and I sip and drink coffee and exchange the latest international gossips with another. Today, when I crossed that tunnel, I look back and feel grateful for going through it. And I feel grateful for seeing the light, and seeing the lesson that I refused to learn.

    I hope you cross this part of journey soon. You will come out stronger and wiser. So stay strong sister! Don’t let anyone interrupt or take away this part from you. It’s painful. So feel the pain, take your message and move forward. Sending warm hug!

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