When loneliness becomes your only friend…

I am wearing my heart on my sleeve when I write this… but thought I’d share my thoughts and feelings just in case someone else is going through this too…

My days recently have been lonely and filled with feelings of being unwanted and unloved! Such a heart breaking place to be.

I still long so much for a friend with whom I can chat and laugh and just be me! Someone I can turn to when the going gets tough and who knows that she can do the same with me! The friend I thought I had here has changed and become distant. I no longer feel I can share a friendship with her! I guess that is what happens with people. They change and give up on you. It’s hard! It’s even harder when you are a Christian and you live in a Christian community. Expectations are higher I think! You watch people laugh and chat and have fun and all you can feel is left out and unwanted! No one calls you to join them in conversation nor do they join you if you are sitting alone! Even if you are a part of a group, they are all so busy with each other that their backs are turned to you or they don’t even make eye contact with you like they aren’t talking to you and you can only feel INVISIBLE.

Through times like these my constant strength and reminder of my worth has come from God and His Word. I use these times of being alone to talk to Him and pour out my heart to Him. If anyone has been through what I am going through, it is Him. So He understands. It’s the only way that I get through every day…

I still miss having a friend though… just that one friend!

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