The life of an introvert…

For as long as I can remember, I have been a shy and reserved person – an introvert mostly. I love my own space and enjoy me-time a lot. I enjoy being with people too but when it is more than 2 people, it just gets overwhelming and I move into the background again. This happens time and again and living in a boarding school and in community, it is bound to happen more often than not!

Introverts don’t choose to be introverts! It’s the way we are all wired within ourselves. We have our reservations and there is absolutely nothing wrong in being like that!

I enjoy having people around me… the ones I am comfortable with. However, it does take me a while before I can get comfortable with someone.

Chatting with other introverts is the most comfortable I can get… mostly because they ‘get’ what you are saying and have been through the same situations and felt the same way I have! They see me for me! I don’t have to pretend to be what I am not.

This afternoon was just like that… I met up with a friend for coffee and I was able to move from one topic to another with such ease – I guess I kind of shocked myself too! She is an introvert too and chatting with her was so encouraging. It made me realise that no matter what I said or felt at that moment, she understood and was not judgmental at all… It was comforting.

As a teacher, you are automatically expected to be someone who is outgoing and lively and out there!! That is such a wrong notion people have! Teachers don’t necessarily have to be extroverts or out going people. You can be an introvert and still be a brilliant teacher!

At the end of the day, introverts are humans too, with feelings and emotions. We can joke and have fun and be silly but with a select few… everyday we take baby steps to do things outside our comfort zone. Baby steps!! Even those steps take a lot of effort and courage but sometimes we are in situations where we don’t have a choice.

Some people tend to see introverts as misfits and outcasts or just plain snobs! Funny but I sometimes think that extroverts are loud, rude and obnoxious!! So, I guess these notions work both ways…

I think to remove these wrong notions, people should make more of an effort to get to know people better, to take the time to understand them and to give each other a chance! How wonderful it would be if we could all live in harmony together. Extroverts and introverts!! In another 150 years perhaps… when there’s another Blue moon? πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‰

#LifeOfAnIntrovert

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When loneliness becomes your only friend…

I am wearing my heart on my sleeve when I write this… but thought I’d share my thoughts and feelings just in case someone else is going through this too…

My days recently have been lonely and filled with feelings of being unwanted and unloved! Such a heart breaking place to be.

I still long so much for a friend with whom I can chat and laugh and just be me! Someone I can turn to when the going gets tough and who knows that she can do the same with me! The friend I thought I had here has changed and become distant. I no longer feel I can share a friendship with her! I guess that is what happens with people. They change and give up on you. It’s hard! It’s even harder when you are a Christian and you live in a Christian community. Expectations are higher I think! You watch people laugh and chat and have fun and all you can feel is left out and unwanted! No one calls you to join them in conversation nor do they join you if you are sitting alone! Even if you are a part of a group, they are all so busy with each other that their backs are turned to you or they don’t even make eye contact with you like they aren’t talking to you and you can only feel INVISIBLE.

Through times like these my constant strength and reminder of my worth has come from God and His Word. I use these times of being alone to talk to Him and pour out my heart to Him. If anyone has been through what I am going through, it is Him. So He understands. It’s the only way that I get through every day…

I still miss having a friend though… just that one friend!

For the love of Scrabble…

When you think of English teachers, you think of parts of speech, figurative language, poetry and all these other aspects of the Language! As an English teacher, I like to think of words!! These little marks you put on paper or sound out to eventually actually mean something! I love that!!

Words can be instruments of play for an English teacher and an English student! Play with words to form sentences and you can use the same set of words to form different sentences as well as different meanings!

My love for a good game of Scrabble has grown over the years and I try to find as many ways as possible to play a game be it virtually or with another person!

I thank my Grandma for this love of the game! When I visited her in Australia recently after about 20 years, her face lit up when I asked her if she was up for a game or two! At the ripe, young age of 97 she is still as feisty as ever when it comes to Scrabble! Imagine the expression of a 97 year old Grandma who has always had a way with words, hear her Granddaughter say the word Scrabble!! A moment that melts your heart!

Last night I played Scrabble with another Scrabble ‘addict’ after what seems like several months and relished every moment of it! What we also did was make up a story as we placed the tiles on the board to form words! That was fun and hilarious! It went something like this… Pixies and Badger wore a kilt and a pink shoe and got in a snag while on a loaf on a curve… πŸ˜‚

Scrabble and the English Language are not all about the scores, poetry or parts of speech! They are about words, igniting your imagination and just having fun!

Sweet but sour and sometimes spicy…

Lemonade!

Picture this… A gorgeous, warm Summer’s day, with the birdies chirping in the treetops, the swaying trees adding their tune and you have a picnic in front of you… and… some lovely Lemonade!

It’s a touch of sweet and sour! Now add a ripe, juicy, spicy, green chili to it!! Changes the whole dynamic of this picture, doesn’t it? That was what my day was like today!

A brilliant, gorgeously, sunny day with sprinkly clouds spread across the sky and then thunder and rain and cold and wet and gloomy and… well, you get the picture!

A teacher’s week will never have two days alike! You have those sweet days, sour days and of course the spicy days! An equal mixture of the 3 is amazing, I must say, but when it is all separate, that’s a different story!

So, how do I deal with ‘spicy’ days? Add my own bit of sweet and sour! πŸ™‚ I have found that spending time dedicating the day to God at the start of the day and then thanking Him at the end of the day for all that has happened during the day can be really satisfying! Give thanks to Him in every circumstance! Grow and learn from the ‘spicy’ days! Enjoy the sweet days and add your own bit of sweetness to the sour ones!

From one teacher to another, remember to enjoy all your days with your students whether they are sweet, sour or spicy and you’ll appreciate life all the more!